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in return – versuri trophy eyes

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the two storey house where we started again
with the flakey white paint on the garage door
trying to skate in the driveway
on a hand me down skateboard
i left my skin on the asphalt
the closest to pain that i’d felt
too young to know what lonely was
just you and three kids
in an empty f-cking house
i never noticed, i never saw the pain
when fourteen years meant sh-t that day
it never mattered so much to me
it never changed a thing

the tests came in, you were sick
but its not like i didn’t care
i just couldn’t hear it
a wheelchair could never take my mum
if i just ignored it
you said we’d never have it differently
from the kids that were given everything
so instead i’d throw it in your face
the thought of letting someone in

mum, now that i’ve been in love myself
i can’t imagine how it felt
to be told that you could never love another man
not like you had it easy
not like you came out even
it’s not like i could ask for any more
than you’d already given
and it makes me sick
the bad luck had nothing to do with it
just the heartless human beings
that you called your family

apologise
you’ll never get those years back
but you smiled through all of it
apologise
you’ll never get those years back
but you smiled through all of it
now that i’ve been in love myself
i can’t imagine how it felt
to be told that you could
never love another man

and i know
even after everything i’ve done
all i ever had to do was call
but i’ve lost sleep over the
thought of forgiveness

# trophy eyes


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